1. Road construction – This is how serial killers are made.  Sitting in traffic for three hours to reach a destination five miles away creates deep seated rage that eventually, inevitably, progresses to skin suits.
  2. Talking on cell phones in the bathroom – Really?  Your conversation is so important it can’t wait until you’re done peeing?  The person you’re talking to can hear those toilets flushing in the background, you know.  It’s gross.
  3. Vanity plates – Yeah, we get it.  You’re GR8.  You’re 26E4U.  You’re got BG BUX.  All these plates do is make us want to rear end you.    
  4. Giving it 110% — Not possible!  The most you can give is 100%.  And, let’s face it, that effort looked more like 82% anyway.
  5. Hummers – If you’re a soldier in Desert Storm, it makes sense for you to have a Hummer.  If you’re a suburbanite driving the kids to soccer practice, there’s no logical reason for you to only be getting 13 miles per gallon while looking like a jackass.
  6. Bikinis on children – Who invented these revealing suits, pedophiles?  Ick. 
  7. Wearing pajamas in public – Hey, why not throw on a pair of UGGS or Crocs with that stylish outfit?  Way to declare to the viewing public that you no longer care what you look like.
  8. People saying their favorite book is the Bible – Ugh.  Way to take a nice conversation about literature and pollute it with your need to declare what a super Christian you are!  Show some imagination and pick a Vonnegut novel instead.
  9. “I seen it” – Grammatically, this is right up there with offering to “borrow” something to someone.  Nothing makes an otherwise intelligent person sound stupid faster than throwing this phrase around.
  10. Skorts – Why wear a boring pair of shorts or a stupid skirt when you can wear both at the same time?  We rest easier just knowing someone solved that conundrum for us.  This style is acceptable for little kids, but adults ought to know better.
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