1. Maxi dresses – Maybe we’re just not stylish enough to pick up on the appeal of this trend, but to our uneducated eyes, it looks like you’re wearing a sheet.  Isn’t the point of wearing a summer dress to keep you cool?  How are you doing that by tangling your legs up in fabric?
  2. South Pacific – Ugh.  It’s the kiss of death for a musical: awful songs!  Someone once told T she only dislikes this musical because she’s never had an enchanted evening or had to wash a man out of her hair.  T counts herself lucky.
  3. Actors talking about their craft – We love movies, and we love reading interviews with our favorite actors, but the second they start talking about their craft, we groan in disgust and turn the page.  You get paid obscene amounts of money to play make believe for a living.  Don’t get pompous on us.
  4. High fructose corn syrup – Why does my bread have corn syrup in it?  Why do flavored “waters” have it?  Why does EVERYTHING have corn syrup in it?  No wonder we’re becoming such a hefty nation!
  5. Characters’ sleeping attire – Who goes to bed with their hair styled, in full makeup, wearing a push-up bra?  Fictional characters, that’s who!
  6. Whimsy for sale! – We pick on cutesy gift shoppes (insert K’s cringe here) all the time, so you might think there’d be nothing left for us to mock.  Ha!  Think again!  Our current fascination is with a little store in town that lists “whimsy” as part of its sundries.  How does one purchase whimsy?  By the gallon?  Is it bottled?  Canned?
  7. Sophomore effort – Come on, rock journalists.  Must you always refer to a band’s second album as their “sophomore effort”?  Can’t you just say “second album”?  Apparently not, though we realize we might be the only people bothered by this.  That’s why we have each other.
  8. Ticketmaster fees – How can you possibly justify a “convenience” charge when there’s no other way to buy tickets?  That’s not convenient, that’s a monopoly!
  9. Natch – Enough already!  Stop trying to make “natch” happen, journalists!  It’s not going to happen.  Also, you don’t sound hip when you use this.  You sound stupid.  We thought it was about time someone told you.
  10. Jesus bumper stickers – What is it about Christians that they feel the need to plaster evidence of their faith on everything?  You don’t see “Got Muhammad?” bumper stickers.  As far as we know, you don’t get into Heaven on the basis of how many Jesus figurines, stickers, bracelets, and tee shirts you own, but maybe the rules have changed since our last theology class.
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