Tag Archive: Daria


Blessed Be

I find incessant, forcibly upbeat positivity positively soul crushing.  Everywhere I look, uplifting words are emblazoned: believe, dream, wish, faith!  I am particularly disheartened by “blessed,” generally because it’s used to punish me for having negative feelings.  For instance, this week I’m experiencing the joy of having to cancel my check card because a scatter brained waitress gave it to someone else and the restaurant has no idea where it went.  I found the idea of my account information floating around in unknown hands alarming and worrisome.  “There’s nothing to worry about!” an associate comforted me.  “In the grand scheme of things, it’s insignificant.  You still have your health!  Really, we’re so blessed, we have nothing to complain about.” 

But…it’s my god given right as an American to complain, loud and often, about whatever I want!  Isn’t that what makes this country great?  It’s not that I’m ungrateful for my good health or good fortune in life.  Truly, I thank my lucky stars.  But I don’t see why the misfortune of others should prevent me from finding things in my own life annoying.  Does the fact that someone has cancer suddenly make being stuck in traffic for three hours not frustrating?  Does it make hearing a customer say the shop I preside over is “junky” less insulting? 

I’ve tried in earnest to go the positive route.  I even read an entire book on positive thinking and toiled daily to implement its suggestions.  The end result?  My complaints took on a new and refreshing zeal (example: “These shoes are hurting my feet, but at least my legs aren’t broken!”  Not sure the sarcasm registers in type, but I assure you it was there.).  My life has been a series of battles between my inner Daria and my outer Deepak Chopra.  Daria always wins because moroseness is apparently in my nature, but Chopra does try, mainly because I want people to like me.  Some people do.  And really, if I believe in the power of my dreams and have faith in my blessed friends, it’ll all work out!          

T

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  1. Thrift stores — Where else can you find a mint condition Willow folder that’s only a year younger than you are?  Or a weird old wall hanging that needs to come home with you?  As an added bonus, second hand stores help the cycle of reducing and reusing.  You really can’t go wrong.
  2. Board games – A time-honored tradition in our vicious girl gang.  We’re big fans of Taboo, Apples to Apples, Barbie Queen of the Prom and, if we’re feeling blood thirsty, Trivial Pursuit.  The Saved by the Bell game had to be banned after feuding led to too many hurt feelings (and limbs).
  3. True Blood – As mildly annoyed as we are with this vampire craze*, we can’t resist the smoldering Southern gentleman Bill, sexy-scary Viking Eric, and willful heroine Sookie (say it with us, “Suh-kee”).
  4. Fake bands – Whether it’s Maxwell Demon crooning in a sequined jumpsuit or Josie and the Pussycats wailing on about their Marshall stacks, we’re hooked on fictional bands.  Songs by The Wonders and Eddie and the Cruisers are better than most real bands can generate.
  5. Golden Girls – The misadventures, sexual conquests, and sassy banter of four single ladies living together.  Did we mention they’re all over 60?
  6. Megan Fox – Whether or not she’s a good actress is up for debate and she’s so attractive she might be an alien, but we do enjoy her.
  7. Daria – Best teenager ever?  Role model for us all?  Yes!  We’re so happy this glorious series is finally on DVD that we’re willing to forgive the licensing issues that removed all the wonderful 90s music. 
  8. Russell Brand – Someone possessed with this much charm, talent and rakish ability to wear a top hat couldn’t not be a rock star.
  9. K’s hair – “It’s not fair.  It takes her five minutes to style and she’s done.  It just hangs there, straight as a Michael Bolton concert.  Don’t even get me started on how cute her fringe looks with a ponytail.  You suck, K!” –Love, T
  10. Derek Zoolander – No matter how many years pass and male models come and go, you’ll always be our favorite.  Blue Steel is incomparable, and Magnum blew us away.  Thank you for being really, really, really ridiculously good looking.

* Note: It’s not that we’re opposed to vampires.  Quite the reverse, actually.  What annoys us is all the crap we had to take for years as diehard Buffy fans, only to have everyone jump on the undead bandwagon a decade later.